What Are You Willing to Pay For? Anxiety, Avoidance, and Acceptance
As many practitioners of mindfulness know, you can't escape from what you're experiencing without paying a metaphorical price. Avoidance of anxiety-provoking situations, for example, can ultimately lead to "anxiety on the installment plan" — a deferred experience of anxiety when you least expect it.
A willingness to accept reality on reality's terms, and to be with things as they are, is one aspect of mindfulness practice that is sometimes misunderstood by beginners. Acceptance in this context is not about passivity or resignation. I think of it simply as accepting the reality of present experience — intentional, values-oriented action is not negated when you accept your situation. In fact, accepting things as they are can provide a foundation for skillful action.
As I see it, applying mindfulness to anxiety can take several forms, and all of them have one thing in common: making intentional contact with the sensations, images, and thoughts associated with anxiety without adding anything extra to the experience. The "extra" is often the story that gets wrapped around anxiety and other forms of distress — a narrative that amplifies the experience and sometimes becomes entwined with your identity.
There is no escape, and a certain "price" is paid for being present to aversive experiences like anxiety without avoiding or controlling them. On the surface, this price might seem to be discomfort; at a deeper level, it is about relinquishing what the ego wants — comfort and predictability. But if you pay this price, the possibility of joy will be waiting for you when you embrace the "full catastrophe" of life, with all its ups and downs.
You pay a price for avoiding anxiety, which can constrict your life and make a return to suffering inevitable. You also pay a price for facing it — but that price opens the door to satisfaction and joy. The question is: what are you willing to pay for?
In the words of Daniel Ladinsky, inspired by the Persian poet Hafiz:
We should make all spiritual talk simple today: God* is trying to sell you something, But you don't want to buy.That is what your suffering is: Your fantastic haggling,Your manic screaming over the price!
*Feel free to substitute the word “Reality” for “God” in the passage above.
© 2026 Larry Cammarata, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist and Mindfulness Educator
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